


i will never be satisfied

by biriles



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M, angsty, but with riley, dont get excited for rucas endgame, from Hamilton, rucas, sad af, so it's just like satisfied, you guys have no idea i've been thinking about this like forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:33:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8934088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biriles/pseuds/biriles
Summary: It's Lucas' and Maya's wedding day, and as maid of honor, it's Riley's duty to give her speech
or; the one where we get to see Riley's broken heart





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay so like everything else i've written this is unedited so if there are mistakes pls don't get mad at me
> 
> and okay so this is basically just satisfied from Hamilton but like with Riley and man i've been brainstorming about this FOREVER. i wasn't really feelin going back to all the season 2 episodes for dialogues from Texas and New Year so I lk glossed it over. and also Farkle doesn't spill Riley's secret bc he's great and he does want i want for my story to work and maybe i changed the names in the song for it to make more sense but still.
> 
> pls enjoy

_Alright, alright. That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Now everyone give it up for the maid of honor! Riley Matthews!_

_A toast to the groom!_   
_To the bride!_   
_From your sister_   
_Who is always by your side_   
_To your union_   
_And the hope that you provide_   
_May you always…_   
_Be satisfied_

* * *

 

Riley plastered a fake smile on her face for what felt like the 457385th time that night. She knew it was a beautiful wedding, why was that all anyone could talk about? She got ready to make her excuses and leave when she spotted Farkle coming to her rescue. She hurried towards him but she soon noticed that he didn’t share her grin. He looked at her sympathetically and gestured towards the stage.

“It’s almost time for your speech, Riley”

“Do you think anyone would notice if I just slipped away?”

Farkle gave her a look that let her know that, yes, people might notice if the maid of honor left before giving her speech at her best friend’s wedding.

“You and Maya have had this planned for almost your entire lives”, he said seriously

“When Maya and I planned our dream weddings, I didn’t exactly plan on her marrying the man I’m in love with,” she said bitterly

“You could’ve changed this, but now it’s time to face the music. Lucas and Maya are married and you can’t ruin their lives now.”

He gestured at the stage once more, and Riley thought that she’d never seen something so scary. She took a deep breath and walked up the stairs onto the stage, stopping in front of a microphone. She tapped it slightly to get everyone’s attention and looked out in the crowd.

“Now it’s really time to get it together, Matthews,” she thought to herself, “this would not be a good place for a breakdown”

As she began to speak about Maya and Lucas, her mind was running wild. How could did let herself get put in this situation?

* * *

 

_Rewind, Rewind_   
_Helpless, sky's, sky's_   
_Drownin' in em_   
_Drownin', rewind_   
_I remember that night, I just might (rewind)_   
_I remember that night, I just might (rewind)_   
_I remember that night, I remember that—_   
_I remember that night, I just might_   
_Regret that night for the rest of my days_

* * *

 

She could remember the first time she had met Lucas like it was just yesterday. Sometimes she wished it still was yesterday. A fairy tale meeting fit for a princess. She could remember the night she had given up Lucas with that exact same clarity. That hadn’t been something from her dreams, it was straight out of her nightmares.

* * *

_I remember that dreamlike candlelight_   
_Like a dream that you can’t quite place_   
_But Lucas, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face_   
_I have never been the same_   
_Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame_   
_And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name_   
_Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame_

* * *

 

“I’m Lucas”

“I love it”

From the very first moment she saw him, she knew she wanted him. He had looked amused at her actions, but he also seemed intrigued. She figured she’d seen the last of him after exiting the subway, but when he entered her history class that first day, it was like fate. Obviously someone wanted them together if they were going to such great lengths to achieve it. For awhile, things had been perfect. They learned how to talk to each other. Lucas brought her a white pony. They went on their first date, and she thought that maybe this boy was the one. Perhaps he’d end up being her person for life. It all seemed so fitting. And then they went to Texas

* * *

 

_Handsome, boy, does he know it!_   
_Peach fuzz, and he can’t even grow it!_   
_I wanna take him far away from this place_   
_Then I turn and see my sister’s face and she is…_   
_Helpless…_   
_And I know she is…_   
_Helpless…_   
_And her eyes are just…_   
_Helpless…_

* * *

So maybe she shouldn’t have entered Lucas into the bull riding contest, but since she got him into that mess, she was definitely going to help him get through it. She saw the way people in that town treated him, and she knew that he needed his chance to redeem himself.

Maya didn’t exactly see it that way though, and she stormed off. Riley just didn’t understand why she couldn’t be supportive until she looked over and saw it in Maya’s eyes. She loved him. Maya loved Lucas, and she was willing to step aside and let her ride out what she must think was a fantasy filled first love. After all, Maya really thought the two were like brother and sister.

Riley decided in that moment that that was exactly what the two of them would be. Maya deserved happiness, and she deserved Lucas. So she looked over at the girl once more and stood up to go do what she needed to be done, for the good of everyone.

It was much harder once she got to the house and saw him looking at her with those eyes though. For just a second, she rethought everything, her plan, her feelings. She strengthened her resolve and began to do what she had come to do

“For Maya,” she thought

She stood there that night and lied through her teeth to the boy she just knew was her one. He just wasn’t destined to be hers. She kept it up for the weekend, and then the month, and then before she had realized it, it was almost New Years Eve.

Riley almost had trouble keeping her secret, with Farkle’s ever observant eyes on her. She tried her best to be happy all the time, the way she was supposed to be; how people wanted her to be, but there were times where he could see through the cracks. Finally he confronted her, and she finally confided him. He looked so torn, she could tell that this hurt him almost as much as it hurt her. She used every imaginable tactic she could think of, and only barely, did he agree to be her confidant. He hated it, she knew that, but she also knew he’d never betray the trust she had in him.

* * *

_But when I fantasize at night_   
_It’s Lucas’ eyes_   
_As I romanticize what might_   
_Have been if I hadn’t sized him up so quickly_   
_At least my dear Maya’s his wife;_   
_At least I keep his eyes in my life…_

* * *

Some days she looked back and she wished that she hadn’t been so stubborn. Maybe she’d be happy

* * *

 

_To the groom!_   
_To the bride!_   
_From your sister_   
_Who is always by your side_   
_To your union_   
_And the hope that you provide_   
_May you always_   
_Be satisfied_   
_And I know_   
_She’ll be happy as_   
_His bride_   
_And I know.._

* * *

 

Riley finally finished her speech and smiled at the crowd. She sat through the rest of her best friend’s wedding and pretended to be having the time of her life. This was the life she had signed up for, and it was too late to turn back now. Finally, the guests began to disperse, and she could make her exit. She walked over to Maya to say her goodbyes. As she walked away, she caught Lucas’ eye.

And she knew then.

* * *

 

_He will never be satisfied_   
_I will never be satisfied_


End file.
